I love a bouquet of flowers as much as the next girl, particularly if it is attached to a handsome man who is trying to impress me with his overwhelming charm.
Yet, if you asked me what I prefer on a birthday, Hallmark holiday or hot date, I’ll tell you I love flowers I can plant in the ground. Cut flowers are momentarily beautiful and then begin a quick decline.
When I was a hotter commodity, sometimes a new suitor would send me flowers at the office. To make the grand gesture linger, I’d pluck out the faded blooms as the days passed. Soon I was looking at one green stalk of baby’s breath and scrubbing the brown ring from the inside of the vase.
Cut flowers die. Flowering bulbs in soil at least have a chance to make me happy in the future.
(Note, I am NOT planting hints for Valentine’s Day. I still have about three weeks to secure myself a boyfriend).
When it comes to bereavement flowers. I never quite understood the ritual of sending flowers. Likely it stems from times when extended families gathered for wakes that lasted five days or more. During an extended crying circle, the room might actually need flowers to freshen the air.
When I have attended funerals I have marveled at the money spent on circular wreaths the size of life preservers. No one wants to take that oval object home to hang on the front door. A bouquet of flowers is always beautiful. However, when you have had a loss do you really need one more thing that will die?
After my father’s recent death, the house was quieter than I remembered, and remember, I live alone. That’s good for me right now, because I can talk to my dad out loud without people thinking I’m crazy.
A friend had called while I was driving back from Calaveras County to ask if I wanted home-made bean soup and cornbread on my doorstep when I returned? This helped me avoid a regretted trip through the drive-through at McDonald’s. I think the cornbread was still slightly warm when I unlocked the door. I’m glad she did not bring a casserole I needed to eat each day until a week from Wednesday.
Other friends sent me texts with colored hearts and hugs. Sometimes they added “I’m here if you need to talk.”
What is the right things to do for a friend who has lost someone or just generally is down for some reason or another?
I don’t know about other people, but knowing that I have people nearby in case “I need to talk” is a huge comfort.
I will need to talk, I’m just not certain when.
Most of my energy has been spent talking to those within the immediate family. We’re checking on each other and sending electronic thoughts each time we wish we could call my dad. Basically, we’re lavishing each other with the love we wish we could share with him. There’s a lot of comfort in this as well.
Thankfully, I know there are people I can call when I have energy to widen my circle. In fact, I wrote a list of people who had extended a hand of friendship. Making the list brought me comfort.
The cards and emails have also helped. Readers have sent kind words, and sometimes stories about their own special people who have been loved and lost. I like hearing these stories. It makes me feel good people are remembering those who were once physically so close, but are not forgotten.
This week a card arrived from the Yosemite Conservancy. It was hand-written by a volunteer from the group. The writer offered condolences and said a donation had arrived in my father’s name.
This was as lovely as a potted Easter Lily. In memory of my dad, his favorite place on the planet (and mine as well) will get a little boost. Something beautiful is being helped to grow.
"What" - Google News
January 29, 2021 at 06:38PM
https://ift.tt/39q2tyK
What to say when someone says goodbye | Sow There - Chico Enterprise-Record
"What" - Google News
https://ift.tt/3aVokM1
https://ift.tt/2Wij67R
Bagikan Berita Ini
0 Response to "What to say when someone says goodbye | Sow There - Chico Enterprise-Record"
Post a Comment