PETER SAGAL, HOST:
Now onto our final game, Lightning Fill In The Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as they can. Each correct answer is now worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores?
BILL KURTIS: Well, we have a trifecta here. Mo has three, Paula with three. And Negin has three.
NEGIN FARSAD: Oh.
SAGAL: Oh, that's great. All right. In that case, I'm going to arbitrarily choose Negin to go first. Negin, the clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank. On Tuesday, blank named nine more members to his White House staff.
FARSAD: Biden.
SAGAL: Yes.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: On Wednesday, the death toll from blank surpassed 250,000.
FARSAD: COVID-19.
SAGAL: Right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: This week, blank was re-elected to her position as Speaker of the House.
FARSAD: Nancy Pelosi.
SAGAL: Right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: On Tuesday, two Republican senators joined Democrats to block Judy Shelton, Trump's nominee for the blank.
FARSAD: Federal Reserve.
SAGAL: Very good.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: Just in time for the holidays, Pepsi announced they'll be releasing blank-flavored Pepsi.
FARSAD: Peppermint.
SAGAL: No, apple pie-flavored Pepsi. According to reports, Lara Trump, the president's daughter-in-law, is considering a blank run in 2022.
FARSAD: Governor.
SAGAL: Senate run. On Monday, the White House began auctioning off drilling contracts for blank's national wildlife refuge.
FARSAD: Alaska.
SAGAL: Right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: After complaining about...
(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)
SAGAL: ...A light in their house that never turned off, a woman in California was embarrassed when she was told blank.
FARSAD: She kept leaning against it.
SAGAL: No, that it was a skylight.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: The woman's husband filmed her as she went through the house, flicking every switch on and off, trying to find which one was connected to the light in their entryway that was always on up on the ceiling. After watching her for a minute, the husband pointed out that that was their skylight, and the light coming down from it was the sun, to which the woman asked, well, OK, then where's the switch for that?
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Bill, how did Negin do on our quiz?
KURTIS: Very well. She had five right for 10 more points.
(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE SOUND EFFECT)
KURTIS: He now has 13 and the lead.
PAULA POUNDSTONE: Oh, my gosh.
SAGAL: OK, Paula, you're up next. Fill in the blank. On Tuesday, President Trump fired the cybersecurity chief who said the elections were completely free of blank.
POUNDSTONE: Cheating.
SAGAL: Yeah, fraud.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: As infections rise, New York City announced they would be suspending in-person blank.
POUNDSTONE: Classrooms.
SAGAL: Right, school.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: This week, the White House chief of staff said he couldn't guarantee a budget deal that would avoid a blank.
POUNDSTONE: A shutdown.
SAGAL: Yeah.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: On Tuesday, senior Republican Senator blank announced he had tested positive for coronavirus.
POUNDSTONE: Grassley.
SAGAL: Right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: In a record-setting sale, a man in China purchased blank at auction for $1.9 million.
POUNDSTONE: I don't know if I know. Is it a meteorite?
SAGAL: No, it was a pigeon. It was a racing pigeon. After launching on Sunday, SpaceX's Falcon 9 rocket arrived at the blank without incident.
POUNDSTONE: Space station.
SAGAL: Yes, the ISS.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: After three decades as a late night host, blank announced he was stepping down and shifting to a variety show format.
POUNDSTONE: Conan O'Brien.
SAGAL: Exactly right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: This week, a man in California...
(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)
SAGAL: ...Attempted to evade arrest by the FBI by blanking.
POUNDSTONE: By running into a police station.
SAGAL: No, by diving into a lake and using an underwater sea scooter to try to escape.
POUNDSTONE: Damnit, that was my next answer.
SAGAL: I know. It was just like out of "James Bond"...
POUNDSTONE: I was so close.
SAGAL: Except in this case, it was a lake, and the sea scooter has this top speed of 4 miles per hour. He pulled up. He's being chased by the FBI, wanted for this Ponzi scheme. He jumps out of his van. He reaches into the back of the van, pulls out this electric scooter that scuba divers use, jumps into the lake and swims away underwater. Perfect plan, except that the FBI agents just watched the string of bubbles going across the lake. They walked around and waited for him to come out the other side.
POUNDSTONE: (Laughter).
MO ROCCA: It sounds less "James Bond" and more "SpongeBob."
SAGAL: A little bit.
FARSAD: (Laughter).
SAGAL: OK, Bill, how did Paula do on our quiz?
KURTIS: Paula got six right for 12 more points and a total of 15, which puts her in the lead.
(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE SOUND EFFECT)
SAGAL: Whoa. That is impressive, Paula.
FARSAD: Damn.
SAGAL: So how many, then, does Mo need to win?
KURTIS: Mo need six to tie. That means seven to win.
SAGAL: OK, here we go, Mo. This is for the game. On Monday, Georgia's secretary of state said that Senator blank had pressured him to throw out legal ballots.
ROCCA: Nosy neighbor Lindsey Graham.
SAGAL: Yes.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
ROCCA: The Mrs. Kravitz of electoral politics.
POUNDSTONE: (Laughter).
ROCCA: Yoohoo, what's going on in your state over there?
SAGAL: After Moderna announced the success rate of their vaccine, the blank hit a record high.
ROCCA: Dow.
SAGAL: Yes.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: This week, another 740,000 Americans filed for blank, above expected numbers.
ROCCA: Unemployment.
SAGAL: Yes.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: This week, a restaurant in Minnesota unveiled a new burger they say can blank.
ROCCA: Oh, can kill the coronavirus.
SAGAL: No, can induce labor. On Wednesday, Apple agreed to $113 million settlement over accusations they intentionally slowed down old blanks.
ROCCA: iPhones. iPhones.
SAGAL: Yes, iPhones.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: On Tuesday, the FDA approved the first at-home rapid blank test.
ROCCA: Coronavirus.
SAGAL: Yes.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: This week, Radio France apologized after a series of reports...
(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)
SAGAL: ...Saying that Brigitte Bardot, Clint Eastwood, Queen Elizabeth, Pele and 90 other people had blanked.
ROCCA: Died.
SAGAL: Yes.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: As people may know, news outlets prepare obituaries ahead of time for notable people. And this week, Radio France accidentally published all of them in their files on the website.
(LAUGHTER)
ROCCA: They killed everyone off.
SAGAL: They killed everyone off. It was the crime of the century.
POUNDSTONE: They were helping Mo with his sequel.
SAGAL: It was like using a time machine to see next year's Oscar memorial reel.
ROCCA: And strangely enough, they brought Hugo Chavez back to life.
POUNDSTONE: (Laughter).
SAGAL: Some of the people were flattered to read their own obituaries. Some were terrified by the openings of them and started furiously trying to do something nice for once.
POUNDSTONE: (Laughter).
SAGAL: Bill, did Mo do well enough to win?
KURTIS: Well, stand back. He had six right for 12 more points. He now has 15, which means he and Paula are co-champions.
SAGAL: Oh, my gosh.
(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE SOUND EFFECT)
ROCCA: Paula, I feel so close to you. I think I'm going to call you on the phone.
POUNDSTONE: Oh, I would love that.
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