PETER SAGAL, HOST:
Now onto our final game, Lightning Fill In The Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as they can. Each correct answer is now worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores?
BILL KURTIS: Sure can. Helen has two. Lacy has three. And Adam has three.
SAGAL: All right, Helen, you're in third place, so you're up first. The clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank. On Wednesday, federal investigators searched the home of Trump lawyer blank.
HELEN HONG: Rudy Giuliani.
SAGAL: Right. On Monday, the White House announced plans to send 70 million blanks to countries in need.
HONG: Vaccine doses?
SAGAL: Right. This week, Biden signed an executive order raising the minimum wage of federal contractors to blank dollars an hour.
HONG: Fifteen?
SAGAL: Yes. On Sunday, it was announced that vaccinated Americans could travel to the blank this summer.
HONG: Europe.
SAGAL: Yes. This week, a flight in China was canceled after a passenger blanked.
HONG: Didn't want to go to China.
SAGAL: No. Threw coins into the engine for good luck. Despite GOP calls for protests, the ratings for televised blank games are up over 22% this season.
HONG: NASCAR?
SAGAL: No, baseball. On Sunday, "Nomadland" director Chloe Zhao became the first woman of color to win a blank for best director.
HONG: An Academy Award.
SAGAL: Yes, indeed. In what's being called a...
(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)
SAGAL: ...Quote, "uniquely Canadian turn of events," the Internet for an entire town in British Columbia went down after blank.
HONG: Someone was playing hockey while curling...
(LAUGHTER)
HONG: ...And there were geese - and there was geese involved and someone said, eh.
SAGAL: That's pretty Canadian, but you missed the one element. The Internet went down after a beaver chewed through the cable.
HONG: Oh, the damn beaver.
SAGAL: Everyone in the town of Tumbler Ridge was without internet for two days after a particularly hungry beaver ate not only all the cables but the 4-1/2-inch-thick conduit that was protecting them. It's really the city's fault, though. That'll teach them to never, ever use bark-flavored conduit.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Bill, how did Helen do on our quiz?
KURTIS: Helen had five right for 10 more points. She now has 12 and the lead.
SAGAL: All right. I'm going to arbitrarily choose Laci to go next. So, Laci, fill in the blank. On Wednesday, India reported another single-day record for blank infections.
LACI MOSLEY: COVID infections.
SAGAL: Yes. This week, President Biden proposed an $80 billion plan to help blank crackdown on tax evaders.
MOSLEY: IRS.
SAGAL: Yes. This week, two D.C. cop cars were totaled after the officers driving them blanked.
MOSLEY: Left them.
SAGAL: No, after they challenged each other to a drag race.
MOSLEY: Oh, God.
SAGAL: This week, a probe uncovered that the Trump administration blocked blank from receiving hurricane aid.
MOSLEY: Florida.
SAGAL: Puerto Rico.
MOSLEY: Oh, right, of course.
SAGAL: On Monday, tech giant blank announced plans to build a new $1 billion hub in North Carolina.
MOSLEY: Bill Gates.
SAGAL: No, it's Apple this time. This week, a massive battle took place...
(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)
SAGAL: ...In a field of Nebraska where 50 people all claimed...
MOSLEY: Josh.
SAGAL: ...To be the rightful owner of the name Josh. That's right, Laci. Last year, a man named Josh Swain invited a bunch of other people named Josh to a battle royale which would finally determine who could legally use the name. It was delayed, but it happened this week when 50 people showed up for the fight. Most of them fought with pool noodles, which was a real advantage for the one Josh who brought a machete.
(LAUGHTER)
KURTIS: She had three right, six more points. She now has nine, but Helen still has the lead with 12.
MOSLEY: Go, Helen.
SAGAL: OK. How many, then, does Adam need to win?
KURTIS: Five - count them - five for Adam.
SAGAL: All right, Adam. This is for the game. Fill in the blank.
ADAM FELBER: OK.
SAGAL: According to census data, Texas, North Carolina and Florida will all gain seats in blank.
FELBER: The House of Representatives.
SAGAL: Yes. On Monday, the Supreme Court agreed to hear a case that could make it legal nationwide to carry blanks outside the home.
FELBER: Guns?
SAGAL: Yes, concealed weapons specifically. This week, Pfizer said that an oral medicine to treat blank could be ready by the end of the year.
FELBER: COVID-19.
SAGAL: Yes, Adam. Now entering its third month, protests against the military coup in blank are now calling for work stoppages.
FELBER: Myanmar.
SAGAL: Yes. A man in the U.K. who robbed a McDonald's demanding money and Chicken McNuggets got the money but was denied the nuggets because blank.
FELBER: They were out of them.
SAGAL: Because it was 7 a.m., and they only had breakfast.
FELBER: Of course.
SAGAL: On Thursday, the administration announced a ban on blank-flavored cigarettes.
FELBER: Menthol.
SAGAL: Yes. On Wednesday, Michael Collins, the command module pilot on the blank mission, passed away at the age of 90.
FELBER: Apollo.
SAGAL: Apollo 11, yes. Thanks to a clerical issue at the hospital...
(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)
SAGAL: ...A woman in Seattle trying to name her daughter Kora accidentally named her blank.
FELBER: Corgi.
SAGAL: No, Korn. On the baby's birth certificate...
FELBER: Oh, i read that. I did.
SAGAL: ...Her name was clearly printed as Korn Tate. Even worse, it was Korn with a K, which is a really awkward conversation to have with your daughter. Mommy, what does my name mean? Oh, sweetie, we named you after the collection of white dreadlocks behind such hit songs as "Freak On A Leash" and "Ball Tongue."
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Now go play with your brother Papa Roach.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Bill, did Adam do well enough to win?
KURTIS: He needed five, and he got six right for 12 more points.
HONG: Wow.
KURTIS: That means, with a total of 15, he's a champ.
(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE SOUND EFFECT)
SAGAL: Congratulations, Adam. Well done.
FELBER: I won something, finally.
SAGAL: Finally. Finally.
FELBER: Makes this whole pandemic worthwhile.
(LAUGHTER)
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